The daily routine

I’ve mentioned before that I believe part of being a successful foster parent is having a well structured home, providing structure for the child. Like all children, Jack needs and enjoys his routine, his normal day looks something like this:

7.30am: Jack is up for his morning milk feed as usual. I use the time while he is having his feed to prepare my daughters lunch for school.

8.15am: Jack is washed and changed ready to come with me to drop off my daughter at school.

9am: We are back home and time for Jack’s breakfast.

9.30am: I prepare Jack’s lunch which he takes for contact and make sure his baby bag has all the essential items needed for that day.

10am: Jack goes for 'contact’ to visit his parents at the contact centre. He has a daily three hour contact time.

Between 10am to 1pm I arrange my personal appointments and errands. Today was my dentist appointment. It’s better for me to do these things while Jacks away as I can get from one place to another faster; it’s also less disruptive for Jack when he returns.

1.45pm: Jack returns from contact and is tired and fast asleep. I put him straight in the cot so he can rest until we leave for school runs.

2.50pm: We both make our way to school to pick up my daughter. Jack enjoys the car ride to school and gets very excited to see her.

3.20pm: Jack has snack time with the kids. He likes sitting on his high chair and joining them at the table when he eats. He’s very much part of the family.

4pm: Jack loves to play on the floor with his blocks, staking them up, then to push them all down. His other favourite toy is the shape sorter. He tries to put them in the slots.

As he is crawling, I have to keep a watchful eye on him. He’s into everything he can see. So safety is crucial at this adventurous age. 

Safeguarding and promoting his welfare is paramount. I have ensured that all safety equipment is in place for example a fire guide, plugs in the socket, locks on cupboards, age appropriate toys and to ensure the area he plays is free from harm.

5.30pm: Jack has his dinner. While I prepare our evening dinner, Jack enjoys listening to my daughter read to him.

6.30pm: Jack has play time with my husband and children. He enjoys this quality time. They interact with him through play, talking, laughing with him and praise him when he responds.

It’s a good time for all of us to get together with Jack before his bath and bedtime.

7.30pm: Jack is ready to take his bath. It seems he already knows that it’s time to unwind after a busy day. He loves bath time and very playful in the water. After his bath, Jack has his last milk feed, he is more than happy to take his milk feed before bed as it aids him to sleep well, throughout night.

Good night Jack!

From 7.30pm until our bedtime, I am able to enjoy quality time with my husband and children. My children are revising for their exams due next week, so it’s a stressful time for them. I try and ensure that there is minimum disruption in the household and support them fully in what they need.

I check with my son and daughter of any up coming events or meeting that I need to attend at school. I also make some preparations for the next day.

Once all that was done I can relax for the rest of the evening- ready to do it all again tomorrow.  

Making the decision to foster

Hi, I'm Alveina, married and a mother of three. My eldest daughter, who is 18, is at university studying towards her psychology degree. My son who has just turned 16 is taking his GCSE this year and my youngest daughter, of 12 years, started high school this September. As you can see, they are all at crucial stages of their academic life, and like most, our household can be very busy.

For the past four years I have also been a foster carer.

It's a tough job being a mother, as any mother would agree, and being a foster carer is no different. I believe the secret of success is having a good structure in the home, a loving environment and communication.

The decision to become a foster carer was not taken lightly. After having a successful banking career I decided to take some time out from the working world to raise my family, and I thought I could do more.

My sister in law was a foster carer and I watched her care for her foster family. I saw the considerable amount of care and attention that was needed to look after these vulnerable children, but what struck me most was the joy and fulfilment that was being reaped. They gave the children stability, love and care, making a positive difference to their lives.

My decision to foster was precisely to make a positive difference in a child’s life.

At times it's a tough job to fulfil, but I have been committed and dedicated in providing a safe, caring and loving home with stability, structure and set boundaries, to enable the child to develop and gain confidence, to become a well-rounded individual.

Just like raising your own children, there are both highs and lows.

The rewards

· Fostering is a very rewarding job. It's a great feeling when you see a child you are caring for develop well, gain confidence and strengths to help them move on to the next stages of life. You know you have instilled those qualities that will hopefully benefit them in the future.

· It's great when you have good relationships with the parents or adoptive parents, this helps immensely during transition time.

· Sometimes you are able to keep in touch with the children after they leave.

· Having access to a good network of foster carers so you don’t feel overburdened and know help is always available.

· The support you receive from support workers and by attending fostering support meetings is a great help in understanding how to deal with vulnerable children.

The challenges

· When a child leaves your home it can be very emotional and sad, knowing you may never see them again.

· Remaining professional when dealing with the childrens parents can be challenging.

· Some days juggling a busy day, your own children and fostering duties can be difficult.

· Trying to manage a child who’s upset and has had a difficult start in life can be a challenge.

Despite the low points, at the end of the day you know you are giving a child in need a helping hand, and building a positive future for them, and that is what makes it all worth it.

I hope you will join me for the next fortnight as I continue to post my experiences of being a foster carer and balancing my life around it.